Sunday, November 29, 2009

My journey to faith

I recently read a post by another blogger that insired me. She shared her testimony of how she came to the Lord. I enjoyed reading it very much and decided that I woud like to also share my conversion as well.
I was raised by Christian parents. We went to church most every Sunday. I was raised with good values and beliefs. But they were always my parents values and my parents beliefs. I, like so many children cared much more about what my friends thought and adopted most of there idea's and attitudes. After all I spent most of my time with them.
As a teenager I flirted with the line between what was and was not appropriate. Sometimes I put a toe over the line, but that was really it. I didnt get into any major trouble or cross what I considered to be any major lines.
Then my parents announced that they were getting a divorce. This was crushing to me. My parents had been married for almost twenty years and I had always viewed them as the perfect couple, I can look back now and see that I was blind to many issues in there marriage. Thats normal I think for a teenager. I can also see now how they are two much happier people apart then they ever were together.
I distinctly remember thinking that I had always been taught that our family's can be forever, eternal. I decided since mine wasnt that I didnt care anymore. I was going to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I dont in anway blame my parents for the choices I made. They were my sins and my mistakes, I just remember there divorce was a sort of trigger for my worst behavior. I used it as an excuse to do whatever I wanted.
That began the worst time in my life. I used boys and drinking as a way to get attention and also in a way to escape the feelings I had about my parents divorce.
I became pregnant at 16 almost 17 years old. . . I know that teen pregnancy is not a good thing. I understand now that the Lord would have us save ourselves for the companion He has chosen for us. I also believe that the Lord used my sins and my mistakes to bring me back to Him. When I became pregnant I suddenly had to look at my actions and behaviors and see where they would take me, I had to decide what I wanted for my child. At that moment I knew what I wanted was the Lord in our lives and the peace that I knew I could have if I put the Lords will first in my life. Thats when I started my journey back to church, back to the beliefs that had been my parents but now they were my beliefs. As I worked on developing a relationship with the Lord I gained my own testimony and I havent looked back since.
I love the Lord so much and am thankful daily for His foriveness . Thankful that He can take our weaknesses and our mistakes and use them to humble us and bring us back to Him.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Alyssa is here!

Its so nice to be able to sit down and post about the birth of our fourth baby. She is so sweet and so beautiful. She came on Friday November 20th at 1:37 in the afternoon. Weighing 8 lbs 1 oz. Ill post about her birth later for now I am going to rest and enjoy my newest little girl =-}

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

" few women truly embrace their God-given role as wise guardians and keepers of the home...Home is too important to be left to itself; it is something precious to be tended, cared for, kept, and yes, guarded. God has given women a sphere that is naturally and wonderfully their own to manage and wisely govern."

I found this qoute today on another blog and I really liked it. It reminds me just how blessed I am to be at home. It also makes me really think and evaluate how well I am tending for, caring for and keeping MY home and those who are in it.

Monday, November 16, 2009

titus 2

Titus 2:3-5
" The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."

I really love this scripture. I love that it tells us not only what sort of women we aught to be. Chaste, good and obedient, but it also gives us a commision to raise up our daughters and the young women of the church, the young women of the world really to be family minded.
I think so much emphasis is put on having a career. The message now adays seems to be that selfish persuits will make you, as a women "fullfilled". Then when you get around to it you can have a family.
I believe there is no greater thing on this earth I could be doing than raising my family. Loving and supporting my husband and helping my children to grow and love God.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Feeling Gods presence

I think we have all had those times in our lives hen we felt like we were going it alone, like God wasn't close to us. I know that God is always with us and during those times typically it is us causing the distance and not God.
What I am truly thankful for today though are the times that we feel Gods presence really strongly in our lives. For me those times are usually during some sort of trial or hardship. Of course because those are the times I look to God the most.Now granted I should be constantly looking to God. That is definitely something I need to work on. That aside though I am just so thankful that during this deployment I am feeling God strengthening me daily. I know I couldnt get through this without Him.

Friday, November 13, 2009

39 weeks and counting

I am 39 weeks and one day. Still not much progress toward getting this little girl out either! She seems very content to stay were she is and really can you blame her? I am a fabulous shelter for her =-}
I haven't posted anything on my blog lately although so much has been on my mind. I find my energy is just not what it usually is( wonder why haha) and so posting is one thing I don't get around to very often right now.
Mostly on my mind has just been the joy of having another blessing coming to our family.I am about to become the mother of four children and I couldn't be happier! I am getting used to the looks from others now. I walk into Walmart with two boys hanging onto the sides of the cart. A sweet little girl in the seat. Then people see my huge (yes huge) belly. I just have to laugh at some of there expressions =-} I also am usually, I'd say 95% of the time by myself since the love of my life is currently deployed.
The comments on the other hand have taken a bit more to get used to. Some have been very positive and kind. But those have not been the majority! Most are negative. No one has been out right mean But you can tell that some people definitely do not view all these children as a gift from God or as a blessing. Its sad really. I have had more joy and happiness and fulfilment as a mother than I could ever explain!
Something else that has been on my mind lately is my priorities. I have heard women so often say "my kids come first". I have also seen women devote all of there time and energy to there children. That doesn't sound like a bad thing does it? BUT we are not told in the scriptures to leave our Mothers and Fathers and cleave to our children are we? We are not told that our children are our leaders and heads of our home are we? When those children grow up and have families of their own then who will be there with us?
I have seen women exhaust them selves n the service of there children and have NOTHING left for their husband.The man who is by Gods design her life partner and eternal companion. This makes me so sad. I have seen couples get so wrapped up in other things that they don't bother to make time for each other.
I think this has been on my ind so much because my husband is away. When you have to go without your eternal companion you really get a chance to appreciate them more. My husband and I do not have a perfect marriage =-} Never will on this Earth since neither He nor I are perfect. BUT we have come such a long way in our eight years of marriage!
Some things we have learned have been very valuable to our marriage so I will share them.
First we always go to church together and read our scriptures together. Sharing our beliefs together and our time wit Gods word together is so beneficial to our marriage! We also make sure we have a date night at least once a month. Time together for just Him and I to enjoy each other. To be husband and wife and not mom and dad. I see so many couple neglecting making time to do this! They blow it off like its not a big deal, but I guarantee you it is hurting there marriage to do so! I see so many women think themselves a better mother (mother martyr) because they devote there time 100% to there kids.But doing that is neglecting there God given responsibility to be a good wife and companion.
The other thing that I have learned has really been all about Me! But it has probably been the thing that has improved my marriage the most. I can let my husband do things His way! Did you read that???? Do you believe me?? Well its true! I used to ask y husband to do things and then nag, and complain and belittle because He wasn't doing those things My way. I can tell you that caused a lot of resentment and bad feelings in my marriage. After our first deployment I think is when I had learned to just appreciate what my husband did for me. To appreciate it with no strings attached, with no grumbling. So what if he did things in a totally different way than I did, He was willing to help and willing to do them and that is really all that mattered! One of the amazing and wonderful side effects to me learning this was that my husband was happy to help out AND helped out more! Because He saw that He was being appreciated and wasn't being nagged about what he was doing and how he as doing it. I am just so thankful for the time I have to reflect on my life and my family and my marriage. Its so good to look at your life sometimes and see just how blessed you are!